I believe that in every relationship we come together to help each other. Some people come into our lives to help us learn lessons, some people help us to grow spiritually, and some people simple love and support us. But intimate relationships are all about healing. When we attract a painful relationship, that is a sure sign that we have old wounds that need to be addressed. But even after we address those surface wounds, deeper down we will find more.
We all dream of the “happily ever after” relationship, the relationship that once we enter it will be wonderfully happy without having to do anything. The thought is once we find the perfect person, they will always love us no matter what and we don’t have to look at ourselves ever again.
Unfortunately (and I had to learn this the hard way) that’s not how life works. We are constantly growing and changing and we naturally attract partners to help us grow…usually by pushing our buttons. Yeah, that’s right! Our perfect partner is actually the person that upsets us the most. Because they are so close, they can see our wounds and they seem to like to poke at them and ask us “does that hurt?” Sometimes we respond back by poking at theirs, producing a painful power struggle.
This pain is spurring us forward on our spiritual path. I once heard a speaker explain that pain is the touchstone of spiritual growth. Without pain we tend to rest, we stop growing. In biology we call this equilibrium. We only achieve perfect equilibrium when we die. So in our quest to live we will naturally gravitate to situations that will helps us grow. It’s basic biology.
In the past, many of us responded to this push for growth by either running, either physically or through substances, hiding by isolating, or fighting against it. After a while our responses started causing us more pain than just simply growing.
The point is that each relationship is here for a lesson. We attract people to help us grow. When we realize that every relationship is for our benefit, to support our spiritual development, then and only then do we find our “happily ever after.”

Love,
Dawn

Tags: attraction, attraction to the wrong men, attraction to the wrong women, biology of relationships, Dating, happily ever after, Healthy realtionships, Love, Recovery, relationships, spirtual growth, why we attract the wrong people

This entry was posted on Friday, December 16th, 2011 at 8:13 am and is filed under addiction, attracted to the wrong men, Dating, growth, happiness, healthy relationships, intimacy, Love, Recovery, relationships, Spirtual. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.